I Want To Take My Life – Chukwuebuka Nnachetam

It was on a hot Friday afternoon after I had come back from my medical practice in obstetrics and gynecology. An interesting one for that matter, where I stood up for about 1 hour 20 minutes watching the surgeon try so hard to save the patient’s life. The patient had endometrioma and teratoma. Believe me, it wasn’t an easy one for the skilled surgeon but at the end, it was a successful operation. So, after the operation had ended, I went back home. All stressed out, I decided to cool off by knowing what was happening in the “social world” and that led me to Instagram. There, I came across a post which talked about a female photographer who committed suicide the day before to the surprise of everyone as people were dropping a whole lot of surprise comments. Some said she was always smiling and jovial, others said she didn’t look like someone going through any hardship or depression. I will still come to this.


What really caught my attention was that people even liked the post, it’s like an addiction now. Sometimes you just like posts whether they’re good or bad. A very close friend of mine liked that post, so I buzzed him to notify him on that which he jokingly denied and laughed it off. But kudos to him because after the whole thing, we spoke about the recent happenings of people committing suicide especially young and vibrant youths. He encouraged me to write this article and here it is.


I keep asking myself what’s the borderline between a mentally healthy person and mentally ill person? What’s the threshold one could reach to start having suicidal thoughts? What propels one to take that final step towards committing suicide? Are there no signs one could see? Don’t these people have friends and family members? Are these people around them blind that they couldn’t see the signs? I could go on and on…but I will like to tackle this few head on.


Let me start off by addressing the title of the article: I WANT TO TAKE MY LIFE! This is likely one of the suicidal thoughts penned down. If you’re observant you will notice this is the second time I used that phrase in this article. My reason being that the phrase is not completely correct. Here’s why: Did you say “my life”? How is it your life? Did you give yourself life? Hell, No!

Committing suicide to me personally, is like taking what doesn’t belong to you. Yes! Your life doesn’t belong to you. It’s not your life. You didn’t give yourself life. So, why take it? Let’s take it from another perspective. God brought you into this world for others. Did you read that? You can go back and read that again. If it wasn’t for others he could have created just you but he chose to create everyone. That means everyone was created for each other and everyone needs someone. So, committing suicide to me, is a selfish act and it’s more like you telling God he made a mistake by creating you. I don’t mean to be judgmental about the whole thing but it pains me to hear or read about people committing suicide on a daily basis.


I understand things are very hard now and a lot of people are going through challenges of different sorts but we should understand that once there’s life, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. And that’s hope! It’s right there beaming at everyone’s face just that it may seem unreachable. My friend, you deserve more than suicide. Don’t think you’re the only person in the worst situation on earth. Nah! There’s always someone alive who is even in a worse state than you are. So, be grateful to God.


Dear reader, please listen clearly! Whatever your problem might be, committing suicide isn’t a solution to it at all. If you understand this, you are on the right track. One of the good habits I inculcated which has been very helpful to me is that I always choose to look for the positives in every situation no matter how bad it may seem. The problem most of us have is that we are blind to the positives or choose to take the negatives. We keep complaining and worrying which will only cause more harm to our lives by leading to depression and suicide. Don’t even think you’re the only one going through what you’re going through. Many people are in it and some others were and survived it. Why won’t you? Those that survived it are also human beings like you. The same God that created them, created you. My friend, you’re bigger than that your problem, if not you, the God that brought you into this world is! Cast all your cares upon him and watch how things will turn out fine. Also, learn to focus on the good side of life, if not for anything, for your health first. In as much as this life is hard, there are a lot of goods in it…you just have to find them.


Come to think of it, for one to start having those suicidal thoughts, the threshold or severity of one’s problem must be very high. Let’s digress a bit. It’s similar to this case: a 55 year old patient was rushed to the hospital with a SEVERE headache, this will take the doctor’s mind to migraine or subarachnoid hemorrhage (SAH). To simply differentiate the severity of these two types of headache, SAH has a sudden onset (i.e. all of a sudden the patient experienced the severe headache) while migraine is rapidly progressive (i.e. the patient has had milder migraine auras or attacks which he/she must have treated in the past before the recent severe headache “like he has never had it before” which started rapidly and brought him/her to the hospital). Their similarity is that they were definitely caused by something(s).


Depression is more like migraine which has underlying causes, symptoms and signs, then rapidly becomes explosive and can render the patient helpless and in severe condition. The positive to pick from migraine is it presented with signs and symptoms and didn’t just start all of a sudden as in SAH. Do you now see the reason why I keep asking myself, don’t these people that commit suicide have friends and family members? Are the people around them so oblivious that they couldn’t see the signs?

I think this is an eye opener to everyone. Upon all the hashtags and slangs all over the place like #BFF, Bae, Boo, Bestie and many others, the rate of suicidal attempts is on the rise.

Dear reader, please choose your friends wisely. Know who you hang out with or call your friend. Do they really care about you or they just hang around to get stuffs from you? Are they people you can rely on to be by your side through thick and thin? Do they really understand you and your body language? You should answer all these questions honestly.  Also, I see no reason why you should have a friend you can’t express yourself to, freely or even talk to about your problems. Your friends should be able to understand you, be free with you and know when things aren’t well with you. They should see the signs clearly. I know some may argue that some people are too secretive and can mask all their problems. I understand that but there’s a level of understanding and trust a secretive person will experience in your friendship that will make him/her totally confide in you and open up. We should try and attain that. As I said earlier, we are in this world for each other. Let’s try and be there for people. Be committed enough in your friendships and try as much as you can to be observant in order to know when the person next to you needs a helping hand. Nobody knows it all, everyone needs help. And to all ye secretive people, learn to speak up! You aren’t the only one in that your problem. A problem shared is a problem half solved. Find people you can confide in and talk to them. It’s kind of funny sometimes to see a lot of people answer without hesitation, “I’m fine” when asked, “how are you doing?” when they know deep down that things aren’t going well with them. It’s now like an automated response. Please, stop the lies and speak up!


Dear reader, listen clearly, depression is a disease which is very toxic and can affect the quality of your everyday life so it’s advisable that you see any medical counselor, preferably a psychologist, social worker or psychiatrist to help you out when you can’t help yourself.

And to you that may be considering committing suicide, please hold on! Take a moment and think about how far you’ve come in this life. You’re in a better state than a lot of people in the world. Don’t you think so? Have you forgotten the happy moments you shared in this life? Have you forgotten the good thoughts, plans and sacrifices you have made for your future? Have you forgotten the days turned weeks, months and years you did yourself and everyone around you proud? Have you forgotten the good days that brought joy to you? Have you, all of a sudden, forgotten that great person you’ve always dreamed to become? Have you considered the people you plan on leaving behind? Do you know that your committing suicide can actually make them enter depression and commit suicide too? Now, ask yourself, is committing suicide really worth it? Absolutely not!



My dear, you deserve something much better than suicide. You deserve to have a sound mind, soul and body. You deserve to live a happy life. You deserve to be delighted always. You deserve a great future. There’s more to life than depression and suicide. Your current problem will pass away if you don’t give up. And the good thing here is, when you have overcome it, your testimony will be great and so inspiring for all. I choose to end this piece with some of my quotes (#GleeQuotes):

  • If God allowed it happen to you, he will surely see you through it.
  • Forget about problems and think of solutions.
  • Once there’s life we can try again and do things differently.
  • In times of self-doubt prove yourself wrong.
  • No matter who and what you are. You’re the writer of your own story. Write it well, make it inspiring!
  • Your life story is in your hands. Write it well, make it inspiring for all those who will read it.
  • Never give up they say. I say, never think of giving up…it’s not an option!

I hope I was able to instill one or two good thoughts in your mind. Remain blessed. Trust God and Chill…Enjoy.


I’m Eziuzo, Chukwuebuka Nnachetam. A final year medical student of Danylo Halystky Lviv National Medical University, Ukraine. Before I dive into what forced me to sit glued to my chair to pen down this article, I would like to make a few things clear. All you read wasn’t culled from any source, they are my wild thoughts and opinions. You’re free to disagree with any of them because everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. Also, I clearly state here that I haven’t been into depression of any kind neither have I had any form of suicidal thoughts running through my mind at any time. But in as much as I may not be the right person to address it, out of the very passionate love I have for human lives, I strongly believe this article will go a long way in saving that guy/lady about to take his/her life the next second. Let your mind not wonder, I’m talking about you!

The article was written on 27/07/2018 by Eziuzo, Chukwuebuka Nnachetam. Inspired by Alex Uchechukwu Chukwurah

For more, check my: Facebook  and Instagram-Eziuzo, Chukwuebuka Nnachetam

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